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Reflections
A few more reasons why it's important to open your junk mail : Reflections : Oswego Ledger-Sentinel : Hometown Newspaper for Oswego and Montgomery, IllinoisA few more reasons why it's important to open your junk mail
| by Roger Matile
| 5/6/2010
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So now we find ourselves in the merry, merry month of May, which means we shall soon find whether those April showers really will lead to May flowers or not.
Given the ongoing financial unpleasantness, I suspect quite a few of us are contemplating larger gardens this year, which, I understand, has led to a shortage of certain kinds of vegetable seeds, particularly cucumber seeds. The big companies like Burpee say they're fine because they have these giant seed vaults where they store barrels of the things. But if you like certain special varieties from smaller companies, it sounds like you might be out of luck for making your favorite dill, bread and butter, or sweet pickles.
But really, that's probably neither here nor there for most of us anyway what with so many homes in foreclosure planting a garden is probably pretty low down on the list of priorities. And speaking of priorities, if you're a regular reader you know that I consider promptly opening the mail one of my prime goals in life. It probably comes from those years waiting for the latest Captain Video contraption I ordered, or eagerly looking forward to my Captain Midnight binoculars arriving.
So, with little further ado, here are a few things that a columnist might never have found out if he hadn't opened all his mail (even the junk mail) each and every day the letter carrier drove up to his mailbox:
Some folks used to say that a fern root in the room would cause any sorcerers present to turn pale and leave. I would imagine it would depend on just how the fern root in question looked. And smelled.
Speaking of ferns, they used to say in parts of England that biting off the first fern seen in spring would keep one free from toothache all year. Remember, there's a good reason you may see your neighbor out grazing on your ferns.
In parts of India, people once married trees to each other, with great ceremonies and feasting. Those Indians! They'll do anything to throw a party.
The planet Neptune is 17.3 times larger than the earth. That's something you'll be able to amaze the gas man (or girl) with the next time he comes to read your meter.
Among some primitive peoples, the king or chieftain was held directly responsible for rain and sunshine. People blame Barack Obama for everything else, I suppose they may as well blame him if it rains. Or doesn't.
The first women to earn a Nobel Prize for literature was Swedish novelist and poet Selma Lagerlöf--but I'm sure you already knew that. And what, you may wonder, did she win it for? She won the 1909 Nobel Prize "in appreciation of the lofty idealism, vivid imagination and spiritual perception that characterize her writings."
The Pilgrims originally intended to settle in what is now New Jersey, which just goes to show you how confused those people really were.
In years that precede leap years, the solstices fall on the 22nd days of June and December. They fall on the 21st days of those months in other years. All that may not mean much unless you are bent upon standing an egg on its end.
In 1929, the first private phone was installed in the President's office in the White House. Before that, he had to use a phone booth out in the hall. See, kids, they didn't have cell phones then, so even the President had to go use a phone booth. Of course he could afford to have one in the White House, but still it was probably a mite inconvenient.
The word "pagan" originally meant a villager or a rustic, and comes from the Latin, paganus. I guess that means that all of us villagers are pagans. At least to a Roman.
Believe it or not, London was the first city in the world to have a population of over one million people. It remained the world's largest city from 1811 until 1957, when it was finally overtaken by Tokyo. It is a record the Tokyo-Yokohama megalopolis still enjoys with its total population of 33,200,000 people, all of whom are probably looking for a little elbow room.
It is believed bad luck to light three cigarettes from one match-especially by the match manufacturing industry.
A lead poultice was once believed to cure sea serpent bites. I suppose one cure is as good as another to cure a sea serpent's bite.
Among some primitive peoples it was considered bad luck to refer to soldiers by name. They were spoken of as birds instead, as in, "Hey, look at Gen. Cuckoo over there."
The word "perfume" means, literally, "from smoke." It ought to mean "from money."
Some American Indian tribes thought that winds were caused by a big bird flapping its wings. It's the same impression I get from watching weathercasters on the morning news shows.
Mead, the mildly alcoholic beverage that was the favorite drink of Queen Elizabeth I, was made by combining honey and water with spices, herbs and lemons. After boiling, it was let to stand for three months. Finally, it was bottled and considered fit to drink six weeks after that. If you think mead is ever fit to drink, you haven't tasted the stuff. Elizabeth Rex must have been a tough old bird.
The builders of Egypt's Great Pyramid of Cheops at Giza, living about 2900 B.C., existed largely on a diet of garlic and onions, which probably explains why Cheops made them build the thing out in the middle of the desert.
Artichokes have a powerful sweetening effect, but they don't sweeten like sugar. Artichokes alter the chemical environment of the tongue--not the substance to be sweetened. Sounds dangerous to me. And besides, have you ever seen an artichoke? They look dangerous, too.
Finally, our deep thought for the day: There were no sheep in America before 1540.
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